TO REALIZE THE VALUE....  / Mom
March 12, 2006

It has been 10 weeks today without our precious son, Brian.

My family cried together last night;
It's so very hard not having Brian in sight.

Last week after Jordyn's Irish dance, we made such a fuss;
But more than anything, we wish Brian could have been with us!

All I can do is send him my love
In hopes that he receives it in heaven above.

(To Brian: I love and miss you so much! Love always, Mom)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I want to share this special message I received on February 21 from my friend, Adenlina Vasilescu:

TO REALIZE

"To realize the value of a sister or a brother,
ask someone who doesn't have one.

To realize the value of ten years,
ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years,
ask a graduate.

To realize the value of nine months,
ask the mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of one month,
ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week,
ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one minute,
ask a person who has missed a train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one second,
ask a person who has survived an accident.

To realize the value of a friend or family member, LOSE ONE.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Peace and love to all; please let the ones you love know you care!
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Missing You  / Mai Trieu (Fellow intern and resident at SJWS )
Brian, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I will always remember us being on the same months of medicine during our internship year. You helped me survive those medicine months. Thank you for "venting" with me during those grueling months (always on call). Thank you for cheering me up when I was having a rough day. I will miss seeing you ride your motorcycle around town and hearing you call me "Mai Tai." Close

Our Light, Our Angel, Our Friend  / Heather Hulec (Friend)
Brian David Holod, you came into our lives on July 19, 2000.  You have made such a significant impact on us.  Evan, Susan and I deeply miss you now and over the past 2 years we have been apart.  Our first official date was Bucca Di Peppo, and that date led to many milestones.  Our engagement July 4th weekend at Put-in-Bay, Our new home on Oxford Court in October, your white coat ceremony in 2002, the family vacation to Disney in 2003, and your becoming a doctor in 2004.  Brian you gave me sisters I've always wanted and a mother I will always cherish.  Evan and Susan were so blessed to have met, celebrated and vacationed with all of your family in Ohio and PA.  All of your great friends you introduced me too and have shared many great memories: OU Halloweens, Toledo, Columbus, and Ash Cave.  Our vacations together were always eventful.  How we survived Key West at Christmas and Chicago on St. Pat's is beyond me.

Brian, you have taught me many valuable lessons in life:  How to love myself, How to be emotionally stable, How to be a better parent, and How to be finacially secure (still working on!)  Brian the poem I wrote to you in Jan of 2004- You are the Light at the End Of My Tunnel will forever remind me of mine and the childrens destiny.  We are still walking down the tunnel and when time is ready, we'll be looking for our Light.  Doctor Brian David Holod; Evan, Susan and I have comfort in our hearts knowing you still loved us.  We are thinking of you and all the little things in life that remind us of you.  You always dedicated Shaggy's song Angel to me  "You're my angel, you're my darling angel" Goodbye for now our Light, our Angel and our Friend.  Thank you for the past 6 years; we were blessed to have you in our lives.  We promise to always be present in your family.
Love Always,
Heather, Evan and Susan Close

I MISS YOU, BRIAN...  / Mom
March 7, 2006

I miss you, Brian...
There are other people I can talk to,
But it's not like talking to you...
There are other people I can go places with,
But it's not like being with you...
There are other people that matter to me,
But no one matters in quite the way you do...
There's simply no substitute for you.
That's why I had to let you know...
I really miss you.

(Verse by Linda Staten on Personal Expressions card)

Brian, I love and miss you so very much!

Love,
Mom Close

Beyond Life's Gateway  / Mimi (Grandmother)
Beyond Life's Gateway

There is an open gate
At the end of the road
Through which each mus go alone,
And there is a light we cannot see
Our Father claims His own.
Beyond the gate your loved one
Finds happiness and rest
And there is comfort
In the thought
That a loving God knows best.

Dear Brian,
     There are so many wonderful memories of you.  Remember the little lady bug you made for me?  I've always kept it on my bedside table, and the doggie bank, I still have it.
     When you achieved your goal and became Dr. Brian, I was so proud of you I thought my chest would burst with happiness.  All of these feelings are special because they keep you close to me.
     Brian, I held you in my arms for a little while, I'll hold you in my heart forever. 
     I love you Bri.
     -Mimi Close

Missing You....  / Amy Armbruster (Friend)
Brian, I think of you everyday. Sometimes I sit down and think.....what if? It just wasn't "our time" then..... if only we could have met sooner. We just clicked right from the start. I miss lying around and watching movies with you, I miss riding on the Harley with you, I miss our talks, I miss so much of you it hurts. There are so many memories of you everywhere I go....music we listened to, the concert, places we went and things we did, the way you would pick olives off of your food, the cologne you wore, the Envoy...everyone seems to drive one, working at the hospital, you are there. You were so gentle and humble, always putting me first. Such a part of my life in such a short time. Things you said to me have burned right into my soul and I will keep them with me until the day I see you again...and who knows? pick up where we left off. With Love Always, Amy Close

To My Wonderful Brother  / Sandee (Sister)

There have been many times in our lives when we have seemed to be in different worlds.
We are very different in many ways, but we are also much the same in others, which is to be expected.
But the most important fact remains: you can call me at a moment's notice, and I will drop everything to come to you.
I love you more than I could ever tell you, and I consider myself very lucky that you were born to be my brother.
You are a wonderful gift given to me by God, and like so many other gifts we receive, I sometimes forget to be thankful for you.
I'd like you to know that I could never have chosen a more wonderful brother, and I love you more than you'll ever know.
                                                     -Debbie Avery Pirus
Bri - I'm sorry I didn't find this card until after you went to Heaven.  Sometimes there are perfect words.  I hope that my actions have always reflected how I feel...I hope you know I will always, love, respect and admire you.  In all my hopes and dreams and with faith, I know we'll see each other again.  Until then, you will always be in my heart - you will always be a part of me.  Missing you... Love, Sandee
 

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Everybody becomes family--brother and sister to one another.  / David Tolentino (Brian's senior resident and last year as his chief resident )

Now that it has been a month since Brian passed away, I think it has given me enough time to sit back, pray, and organize my thoughts. I pray that Brian is at peace and that all of you have started that long road of healing and continuing to cope with his loss. When I was Brian's senior resident and last year as his chief resident, he would always ask 'why this' and 'why that'. He was always very inquisitive as to the decisions we made together in the care of our patients. I one time got frustrated with him and told him "because I said so". Later that night, when we were on call together, he told me, "Dave, the only reason I ask you questions is because when you graduate next year and become an attending, I want you to know this stuff and be a good doctor." That's how Brian was! I've heard his sister and his mother talk about how Brian always looked out for everyone else, and they are absolutely right. He always tried to bring out the best in people. Brian definitely touched all of us in medical education and all those he encountered on a daily basis. It has been weird without Brian around this past month. I look into the faces of the medical students, interns, and residents and I see a part of Brian in all of them...especially those from his intern class. One's intern class should hold a special place in every physician's heart especially in one as small as St. John West Shore's. Everybody becomes family--brother and sister to one another. You grow together as friends, as doctors, and more importantly as people. You learn to work together and learn to disagree with each other. Brian's class was no exception, and he was definitely one of their brothers. I will truly miss Brian. He was a great friend to all of us. You are all in our prayers and if there's anything we can do for you, please let us know.
From: David Tolentino    01/31/2006 02:49 PM

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We'll meet again, my old friend...  / Jeff Fesler (Friend)

My old friend, this song's for you
Cause a few simple verses
Was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
Cause the love and the laughter
Will live long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again, my old friend
                                 -Tim McGraw

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SJWSH MEMORIAL MASS FOR BRIAN ON 1/25/06  / Joyce Holod (Mother)
A memorial mass was held for Brian on Wednesday, January 25, 2006, in the Chapel of St. John West Shore Hospital with Fr. Elmer Marquardt officiating. Kirby Smith, CEO, presented such kind and warm words about Brian. Readings were done by David Tolentino, D.O. and Andrew Filiatraut, D.O., and Joe Morris, D.O. led the Prayers of the Faithful. Anthony Rozzo, D.O. and I talked about Brian...what a wonderful, kind and special person Brian was to anyone who knew him and about his gentle and compassionate manner as a doctor.

The music for the memorial included:
Will You Be There - Michael Jackson's song from "Free Willy"
Angel - Sarah McLachlan
Wind Beneath My Wings-Bette Midler
I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan

Sr. Kendra led the following hymns:
Entrance Hymn - On Eagle's Wings
Closing Song - Let There Be Peace on Earth

Thank you, family, friends, GME students, interns and residents, and SJWSH staff for attending Brian's memorial service. It was a lovely tribute to my son. It's so apparent Brian touched many lives in his short time with us, and those moments will be treasured always.

Our family received so many beautiful cards and notes of condolence. A card we received from a friend relayed this special message which portrays Brian perfectly:

"Some people's lives can truly make a difference however long or short their lives on earth,
They give the gifts of kindness and of caring, they sow the seeds of friendship and self worth.
Some people's lives are beautiful examples of putting others first, And when they're gone, the lives of those they touched are so much richer, and the love they shared lives on and on." ...Winn

Please remember Brian in your prayers and hold him in your heart forever. Thank you for being part of his life! Close

Special Message to Uncle Brian  / Jordyn Holod (Niece, Age 4 )
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Jordyn wants you to know that this message says, "Dear Lord, This has been a rough day. My mom is having a tough time, and it is so hard without Brian. It is very bad. I miss you and love you very much. Close